I started dating this man a few months ago. Everything was great and moving along nicely. We share a lot of common interests, great physical chemistry, and always have a great time when we are together. The problem is he is going through a divorce and his child is having a difficult time with the situation. That I can understand, what I am confused about is that over the past month he continued to call me everyday; however, we only were able to see each other a couple of times. He says he still wants to see me but he needs to focus on his child right now. My gut is telling me to ride this out with him because I think he is worth it; however, I don't want to find out that this was just an excuse to not see me anymore. You hear things like ';if a guy is really into you, he will make the time';, or ';he will go out of his way to be with you'; but are there ever truly life experiences where a man does need to focus on only that issue before he can give a relationship 100%?Advice from men please....?
Yes. There are, in fact, situations where a budding relationship may not be as important as something else going on in a man's life... for example, helping his child deal with the fact that his/her parents are divorcing. My parents got divorced when I was younger, and that is a really tough thing for kids to deal with. He/she will need all the love and support from his/her parents that he/she can get, and that means that your new guy might not have as much time for you right now. He's not making excuses.... he has a legitimate problem, and a child isn't really something that a man can carve out time away from in a situation like this. Let him know you're here for him, and when he's ready to come back, he will.Advice from men please....?
If you need 100% get a dog. They have time to give 100%.
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Advice, please? (men preferred)
Men, I have told my husband many a time that I would appreciate more affection, but he never sticks to his word. He interprets affection as sex saying that he ';isn't a sex machine';. Since when does once a week=sex machine status?
He was sexually and physically abused as a child and teen. He's been physically, emotionally, and verbally abusive to me. Less so now.
I am attractive and young. I could have very easily had 3 affairs during our marriage alone, but never have. I compliment him, cook for him, clean for him, etc, gladly.
I long for closeness, affection, attention, and respect. Advice?Advice, please? (men preferred)
If your husband has problems from his past he should get professional help. He should not live in the past and make his whole life about the bad stuff that happened to him.
Affection is hard for some guys. You might have picked a guy who does not give affection. If you wanted a lot of affection, you should have thought about this way before you got married.
You could try.....
1.Give him affection, attention and respect and hope that he returns it in kind. Most guys if they are happy, will make the people around them happy in return. And it's easy to make a guy happy.
2.Tell him exactly what you want him to do. Maybe write it down. Some guys need instructions. If he did not grow up with affection, he would not know what to do.Advice, please? (men preferred)
You knew who he was before you married him, and you took vows. You accept him as is. Have you tried to explain to him that by affection, you'd like more hugs and kisses? Have you explained to him that affection need not mean sex?
If you are not happy with once a week, and mocking him by putting him down as him not being a sex machine, I suggest you do your husband a big favor, divorce him and find someone else to suit your needs. For the fact you mention you could have had three affairs even suggests you are not true to your marriage vows now. Cooking and cleaning comes with marriage, on both sides, so what's your point about that?
Divorce him, and move on. Hopefully he'll meet the right woman for him that will understand him, and you'll meet someone who will give you affection and be your love machine.
there is something wrong with ur man
the best thing would be to send him for counselling
or u could talk to him, very calmly and supportively talk to him about his emotional needs and make him feel comfortable
find out why he is physically, emotionally and verbally abusing u? is it something form the past or is it because he simply hates u?
and often men think that affection and closeness is all about sex
u have to convince him otherwise
best of luck
Seriously. If you want it to work.
Best is stop asking or anticipating. Start to give. Lots of it. The right way, that no body uses now a day. He will find out you have stopped pressuring him and it will turn him.
Its the way you fundamentally change a person, even an enemy. That is if you want to. Otherwise, use women's magazines that are full of traps and allures to fish out things that do not exist.
Your choice.
dress in the most dead sexiest outfit you have or go buy one
or get one kinda less buy a movie dim the lights and just get close to each other
If you have not tried to talk to him, do it, be honest, tell him he needs help and if that doesn't work consider divorce!
I think men in general automatically equate sex with affection to some degree.
Since he was abused when he was younger, maybe he never really understood the meaning of affection. The best way I can think of to help your situation is to show affection yourself, not that you don't already. Show him what you mean by ';affection';. Assuming that you don't mean sex, don't make it seem like sex is what you want. Go ahead and cuddle, but if you start to slide your hand down there, then he'll equate your idea of affection with sex.
On a semi-related note, you could also tell him exactly what it is you want. Tell him that it's not sex that you want. Tell him that what you want is for him to be closer to you, more attentive, more appreciative of you, or whatever it is you want. Men, or at least I myself, have a looser grasp of concepts when they are presented to us vaguely. By merely saying that you want ';affection,'; you leave it up to him to determine what ';affection'; is. Like a yahoo/google search, the more specific you are, the better results you'll get. Of course if you're too specific, you may seem like our getting in his face about it, and no one likes it when you're in their face.
Firstly, you said that you have been phsyially abused. This is domestic abuse and you should not really be in an environment like this-just because he has demons in his past does not mean he should let it out on you. He also needs counselling to get him through the trauma he is obviously reliving and inflicting on you (although you don't sound bothered??). good on you for being faithful through bad times, and whilst you love this guy even you have said that you aren't getting a lost of respect closeness and affection which every relationship needs. I bet it feels like you are constantly giving but never taking, just taking abuse (whether it be physical, emotional or verbal.) Although he is less abusive-you didn't say that he has ceased to abuse you so i highly recommend booking him in for counselling and telling him that although you love him-he needs to work thorough his past and treat you the way you derserve to be treated, with love, attention and respect.
Tell someone about this, and get both of you some help.
:) (I know u said men preferred but i'm glad you have read this)
p.s Julie C who is going on about marriage vows and such has a point, vows are meant to be upheld-although i would like to know where in the vows and in law, does it state that an unhappy person of a marriage is obligated to stay and must not leave and must put up with abuse? it doesn't. So dont prattle on because this woman is well within her rights to complain and leave her marriage for her benefit. And don't even get me started on all that ';you wanted an affair..that means you've cheated blah blah blah'; crap because she said she didnt want an affair although the opptunities arose, CAN YOU READ??????????
Also, she isn't complaining about cooking and cleaning she says and i quote ';I compliment him, cook for him, clean for him, etc, GLADLY';
He was sexually and physically abused as a child and teen. He's been physically, emotionally, and verbally abusive to me. Less so now.
I am attractive and young. I could have very easily had 3 affairs during our marriage alone, but never have. I compliment him, cook for him, clean for him, etc, gladly.
I long for closeness, affection, attention, and respect. Advice?Advice, please? (men preferred)
If your husband has problems from his past he should get professional help. He should not live in the past and make his whole life about the bad stuff that happened to him.
Affection is hard for some guys. You might have picked a guy who does not give affection. If you wanted a lot of affection, you should have thought about this way before you got married.
You could try.....
1.Give him affection, attention and respect and hope that he returns it in kind. Most guys if they are happy, will make the people around them happy in return. And it's easy to make a guy happy.
2.Tell him exactly what you want him to do. Maybe write it down. Some guys need instructions. If he did not grow up with affection, he would not know what to do.Advice, please? (men preferred)
You knew who he was before you married him, and you took vows. You accept him as is. Have you tried to explain to him that by affection, you'd like more hugs and kisses? Have you explained to him that affection need not mean sex?
If you are not happy with once a week, and mocking him by putting him down as him not being a sex machine, I suggest you do your husband a big favor, divorce him and find someone else to suit your needs. For the fact you mention you could have had three affairs even suggests you are not true to your marriage vows now. Cooking and cleaning comes with marriage, on both sides, so what's your point about that?
Divorce him, and move on. Hopefully he'll meet the right woman for him that will understand him, and you'll meet someone who will give you affection and be your love machine.
there is something wrong with ur man
the best thing would be to send him for counselling
or u could talk to him, very calmly and supportively talk to him about his emotional needs and make him feel comfortable
find out why he is physically, emotionally and verbally abusing u? is it something form the past or is it because he simply hates u?
and often men think that affection and closeness is all about sex
u have to convince him otherwise
best of luck
Seriously. If you want it to work.
Best is stop asking or anticipating. Start to give. Lots of it. The right way, that no body uses now a day. He will find out you have stopped pressuring him and it will turn him.
Its the way you fundamentally change a person, even an enemy. That is if you want to. Otherwise, use women's magazines that are full of traps and allures to fish out things that do not exist.
Your choice.
dress in the most dead sexiest outfit you have or go buy one
or get one kinda less buy a movie dim the lights and just get close to each other
If you have not tried to talk to him, do it, be honest, tell him he needs help and if that doesn't work consider divorce!
I think men in general automatically equate sex with affection to some degree.
Since he was abused when he was younger, maybe he never really understood the meaning of affection. The best way I can think of to help your situation is to show affection yourself, not that you don't already. Show him what you mean by ';affection';. Assuming that you don't mean sex, don't make it seem like sex is what you want. Go ahead and cuddle, but if you start to slide your hand down there, then he'll equate your idea of affection with sex.
On a semi-related note, you could also tell him exactly what it is you want. Tell him that it's not sex that you want. Tell him that what you want is for him to be closer to you, more attentive, more appreciative of you, or whatever it is you want. Men, or at least I myself, have a looser grasp of concepts when they are presented to us vaguely. By merely saying that you want ';affection,'; you leave it up to him to determine what ';affection'; is. Like a yahoo/google search, the more specific you are, the better results you'll get. Of course if you're too specific, you may seem like our getting in his face about it, and no one likes it when you're in their face.
Firstly, you said that you have been phsyially abused. This is domestic abuse and you should not really be in an environment like this-just because he has demons in his past does not mean he should let it out on you. He also needs counselling to get him through the trauma he is obviously reliving and inflicting on you (although you don't sound bothered??). good on you for being faithful through bad times, and whilst you love this guy even you have said that you aren't getting a lost of respect closeness and affection which every relationship needs. I bet it feels like you are constantly giving but never taking, just taking abuse (whether it be physical, emotional or verbal.) Although he is less abusive-you didn't say that he has ceased to abuse you so i highly recommend booking him in for counselling and telling him that although you love him-he needs to work thorough his past and treat you the way you derserve to be treated, with love, attention and respect.
Tell someone about this, and get both of you some help.
:) (I know u said men preferred but i'm glad you have read this)
p.s Julie C who is going on about marriage vows and such has a point, vows are meant to be upheld-although i would like to know where in the vows and in law, does it state that an unhappy person of a marriage is obligated to stay and must not leave and must put up with abuse? it doesn't. So dont prattle on because this woman is well within her rights to complain and leave her marriage for her benefit. And don't even get me started on all that ';you wanted an affair..that means you've cheated blah blah blah'; crap because she said she didnt want an affair although the opptunities arose, CAN YOU READ??????????
Also, she isn't complaining about cooking and cleaning she says and i quote ';I compliment him, cook for him, clean for him, etc, GLADLY';
Advice from men needed 17-25! How can i get...?
how can i make my friend with benefits like me more than a friend with benefits?
i've had this friend for 3 years and whenever we see each other we make out for hours (no sex; were not dating) whenever we do make out there is so much passion.
he always picks me up and pays for my meals and is really a nice guy and so sweet with me i sometimes pay for him as well to show i care. when i was with my bf and when things werent going well towards the end he kissed me and held me so tight. when i began to date that bf he was concerned. soon later i broke up with my bf and now we see each other at least once a week and sometimes i make him lunch for work.
when i asked him if i was just his booty call he said no way and got very defensive and told me that he does so much for me and its true so if im not his booty call what am i?
when i asked him if he wanted a gf he said ';not now, i'm too busy and dont even have time for myself';.
which is true he's always busy.
i feel that he would be the perfect bf for me so im wondering how do i make him want me and like me a lot?
i dont want to tell him how i feel becuz im scared that it might ruin things.
im 19 hes 22
please help 10 pts.Advice from men needed 17-25! How can i get...?
I am not a guy but my experience with them has worked like this. You can't MAKE someone like you or want to be your BF, but this has worked for me.
I start becoming ';so busy'; like, I am either going out, or to my friends house or something (sometimes I lie but who cares, they don't know) They will call and want to hang out but I can't. When they see you are TOO busy for them they either sweeten the deal by taking you out and taking you more serious OR they just disappear.
Either way you are better off! You should not make-out and chill with a guy if he won't date you. That's not cool of him- its like he is saying you are not good enough to date but he will hit you up sometimes. Thats LAME. You are better than that. He can't have his cake and eat it too but you are letting him get away with it.
Boys who are in love DO NOT share they want you to be all theirs. I am glad you are not sleeping together. DON'T do it until he is serious about you! That will ruin everything. And stop paying for dates you are better than that too.Advice from men needed 17-25! How can i get...?
Give it time..talk to him to ';define the relationship';...if you feel he is worth it...talk to him about dating but dating casually to keep things going until he feels he is ready if he wants to go down that road.
Can you help me with mine?
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?鈥?/a>
Just give it time. When he's not busy he would spent more time with you than anything else.
You can either go for it and have a chance at a happy life or not and look back ten a few years from now and be pissed you never said anything...
i've had this friend for 3 years and whenever we see each other we make out for hours (no sex; were not dating) whenever we do make out there is so much passion.
he always picks me up and pays for my meals and is really a nice guy and so sweet with me i sometimes pay for him as well to show i care. when i was with my bf and when things werent going well towards the end he kissed me and held me so tight. when i began to date that bf he was concerned. soon later i broke up with my bf and now we see each other at least once a week and sometimes i make him lunch for work.
when i asked him if i was just his booty call he said no way and got very defensive and told me that he does so much for me and its true so if im not his booty call what am i?
when i asked him if he wanted a gf he said ';not now, i'm too busy and dont even have time for myself';.
which is true he's always busy.
i feel that he would be the perfect bf for me so im wondering how do i make him want me and like me a lot?
i dont want to tell him how i feel becuz im scared that it might ruin things.
im 19 hes 22
please help 10 pts.Advice from men needed 17-25! How can i get...?
I am not a guy but my experience with them has worked like this. You can't MAKE someone like you or want to be your BF, but this has worked for me.
I start becoming ';so busy'; like, I am either going out, or to my friends house or something (sometimes I lie but who cares, they don't know) They will call and want to hang out but I can't. When they see you are TOO busy for them they either sweeten the deal by taking you out and taking you more serious OR they just disappear.
Either way you are better off! You should not make-out and chill with a guy if he won't date you. That's not cool of him- its like he is saying you are not good enough to date but he will hit you up sometimes. Thats LAME. You are better than that. He can't have his cake and eat it too but you are letting him get away with it.
Boys who are in love DO NOT share they want you to be all theirs. I am glad you are not sleeping together. DON'T do it until he is serious about you! That will ruin everything. And stop paying for dates you are better than that too.Advice from men needed 17-25! How can i get...?
Give it time..talk to him to ';define the relationship';...if you feel he is worth it...talk to him about dating but dating casually to keep things going until he feels he is ready if he wants to go down that road.
Can you help me with mine?
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?鈥?/a>
Just give it time. When he's not busy he would spent more time with you than anything else.
You can either go for it and have a chance at a happy life or not and look back ten a few years from now and be pissed you never said anything...
Advice on men, need help?
Well I'm 37 and been head over heels for a man who's 45. I've known him 3 yrs, but the last 6 months he's been calling, we go for supper, movies even went on vacation together back in January. The thing is that he's seeing someone who's 18 years younger than him. He tells me he doesn't love her but yet he's still with her. My question is I don't want to lose him but yet i'm slowly hurting myself. I want to e-mail him something in terms that he has to choose who he wants to be with, that I can't do this to myself anymore. That he can no longer have best of both worlds. How do I start this e-mail and what can I write that will make him understand. Is there anyone in this same situation any suggestions please??Advice on men, need help?
Not in the same situation. You sound like a quality winner. I've seen similar situations in my office, regrettably more than once.
45 year old man and a 27 year old woman, 10 years younger than you.
Three years invested in this relationship and now this!
Better to find out now than when you're 47 or 52. What if you got married and had a child and he pulled this crap.
Clearly you see it. It's painful for me and I don't know you. For you, it's surely torture.
Ultimatums will not do you any good. This is sophomoric stuff, you're ready for a long term commitment, clearly he is not and probably will never be.
Cut your losses. Anything beyond this is a waste of your time and your life.
Take it one day at a time. Move on. Don't be used. YOU pull the plug on the relationship, lingering death is hell.Advice on men, need help?
Don't ';just dump him';. You owe it to yourself to at least be honest with him about your feelings, and then get his response. It might be what you want to hear, and then great! Problem solved. But, maybe it won't. Then you can move on, but at least you will do so knowing that you were honest with yourself, and with him.
Tell him you have decided to be another man's woman. A man who feels only one lady in his life is good enough and that is YOU
I think telling someone things like this is much better to do in person. They can see your eyes and tell your honest in how you feel.
A email f*ck off isn't even fun to do.
45? Mid-Life crisis time.
If you think he's worth it give him a bit more rope.
Then simply demand fair treatment.
He'll either grow up, or he won't.
Don't waste too much of your time.
He's a jerk. Quit seeing him and don't waste your time sending an email. Just quit talking to him altogether. He'll get the hint.
He's keeping you on the bench to be his ';plan B'; girl.
Now stop being his back-up plan and have the self esteem to move on!
You really do deserve so much better...
He just wants a young piece of tail.....stop torturing yourself and find someone who wants a woman your age. If he wanted you, he would have dumped her a long time ago.
Why email him? Just dump him. He's using you and not even sugar coating it.
A chick who is 18 years younger......where do I sign up for that program......Go Brother!
Walk away and be Serious.. If he doesn't make the changes, he never would have. So you saved yourself a lot of time.
Get it ....he is with someone else.......Drop this game... tell him to call you when the game is NOT AFOOT!
It seems to me that you have a low self-esteem. you think that by loosing this man you will probably not find another, you need to first off. love yourself and believe in yourself you are not just his piece of *** even though that is what it sounds like, sorry if I sound harsh but you need to hear it. if he really cares talk with him and let him know you will not be his side dish while he is enjoy himself with the younger girl. if you are going to email him to make him understand, your email should first let him know that you feel used because of his other girl and that you WILL NOT ALLOW IT ANYMORE. tell him why you feel that way, how it makes you feel that he is using you and hopefully he realizes you are a good catch.
First of all man are logical creatures and have short focus, so be very brief and objective, not much about your feelings but more about what you expect to conclude with this e-mail, be careful man dont like to be told what to do (even though they have always been just dont tell them that); it is also sounds like the type that is not seeking to leave his ancor anywhere so be careful with commitment demands here and most importantly NO DRAMA plse ..... Keep short, simple, direct, not demanding and no drama you will be fine... (dont ever tell a man how crazy you are for him, he will play you forever if that is the case)
I wouldn't send an email. You might be assuming more about this friendship than he is. You might only be a convenience for him. As others have said he is having his cake and eating it too.
Try to start putting some distance between the two of you. Stop making yourself available to him. Don't ring him, don't text him. If he asks you out or to meet for coffee, let him know you are busy or have a prior engagement. He will eventually get the message.
Find a man who will commit to you and only you. Find a man that you don't have to share with another woman.
I am 37, I just broke up with my boyfriend who is 49. He had another woman in his life too. He was ';having his cake and eating it too'; for many many years. I waited 8yrs for him to choose, guess what.....why should he when he has';the best of both worlds'; He never will choose, so I ended it. That is the only way to see if he will leave the other woman or stay with her. Just tell him your ending it, you would like to be with him, but unless he chooses to be with you, you HAVE to move on. And one day when he decides to come back to you, you might not be available!!!
Before I met my wife I was in a ';relationship'; with a woman. Dating, I guess you would say. I was in my early 40's then, she was 5 years younger (age doesn't really matter, but just for comparison)
She was a nice and good woman, attractive but not stunning. Nothing wrong with her, but it wasn't ';there'; for me. I can't say why, but it wasn't. She had grander ideas, I could tell, well, she said so much. I told her that I couldn't marry her or live with her, it just wasn't in the cards. I am a very attentive man when I am in love (ask my wife!) and I was not attentive with her and I knew I was not in love. She was, I think, 36 or 37 and I didn't think it was right for me to lead her on. For what? 5 years? 3 years? And then she would be 40 or 42 and still wanting to get married and it wouldn't happen.
You deserve the same. Apparently he doesn't want to admit it, but how long will this go on? How old will you be then? This woman I was dating had never had children, and wanted them. Should she wait until she is 42? 45? And then what? No it wasn't fair and it isn't fair to you.
I think you just need to be honest with this man. If you love him, say so. If you have thoughts of being married and have children, say so. If he doesn't agree, then you need to make up your mind. I wouldn't give an ultimatum. There is no need to say ';If you don't marry me by....'; No. Just say it isn't fair to you (it isn't) and you need to know his intentions so you can make decisions about your future. That is all. we ARE entitled to think about our future and plan for it. You don't need to say ';me or her'; or anything like that. Simply say you are a mature woman and want to make plans for the future and need to know where you stand with him and where he thinks things are going in the next....(months, years, whatever you decide to say)
If he cannot commit to something with you, and you want a committment, then you have to move on.
Reality is you don't have him- he has you. He's bumping 50, he's dating a 27 year old that he doesn't love and he's dating a 37 year old he doesn't love. He's have a HUGE ego boost right now to be that age and have 2 younger women after him. If he wanted to be with you he would not be going between you two no matter what his age. If you still want to give it a last ditch effort to give him the ultimatum,I'd Express that you want to be exclusively dating each other your looking for a serious relationship.and if he's not willing to do that then you are done dating him, Be blunt- men do not get beating around the bush or hinting they also do not like a lot of details they want direct communication.
Not in the same situation. You sound like a quality winner. I've seen similar situations in my office, regrettably more than once.
45 year old man and a 27 year old woman, 10 years younger than you.
Three years invested in this relationship and now this!
Better to find out now than when you're 47 or 52. What if you got married and had a child and he pulled this crap.
Clearly you see it. It's painful for me and I don't know you. For you, it's surely torture.
Ultimatums will not do you any good. This is sophomoric stuff, you're ready for a long term commitment, clearly he is not and probably will never be.
Cut your losses. Anything beyond this is a waste of your time and your life.
Take it one day at a time. Move on. Don't be used. YOU pull the plug on the relationship, lingering death is hell.Advice on men, need help?
Don't ';just dump him';. You owe it to yourself to at least be honest with him about your feelings, and then get his response. It might be what you want to hear, and then great! Problem solved. But, maybe it won't. Then you can move on, but at least you will do so knowing that you were honest with yourself, and with him.
Tell him you have decided to be another man's woman. A man who feels only one lady in his life is good enough and that is YOU
I think telling someone things like this is much better to do in person. They can see your eyes and tell your honest in how you feel.
A email f*ck off isn't even fun to do.
45? Mid-Life crisis time.
If you think he's worth it give him a bit more rope.
Then simply demand fair treatment.
He'll either grow up, or he won't.
Don't waste too much of your time.
He's a jerk. Quit seeing him and don't waste your time sending an email. Just quit talking to him altogether. He'll get the hint.
He's keeping you on the bench to be his ';plan B'; girl.
Now stop being his back-up plan and have the self esteem to move on!
You really do deserve so much better...
He just wants a young piece of tail.....stop torturing yourself and find someone who wants a woman your age. If he wanted you, he would have dumped her a long time ago.
Why email him? Just dump him. He's using you and not even sugar coating it.
A chick who is 18 years younger......where do I sign up for that program......Go Brother!
Walk away and be Serious.. If he doesn't make the changes, he never would have. So you saved yourself a lot of time.
Get it ....he is with someone else.......Drop this game... tell him to call you when the game is NOT AFOOT!
It seems to me that you have a low self-esteem. you think that by loosing this man you will probably not find another, you need to first off. love yourself and believe in yourself you are not just his piece of *** even though that is what it sounds like, sorry if I sound harsh but you need to hear it. if he really cares talk with him and let him know you will not be his side dish while he is enjoy himself with the younger girl. if you are going to email him to make him understand, your email should first let him know that you feel used because of his other girl and that you WILL NOT ALLOW IT ANYMORE. tell him why you feel that way, how it makes you feel that he is using you and hopefully he realizes you are a good catch.
First of all man are logical creatures and have short focus, so be very brief and objective, not much about your feelings but more about what you expect to conclude with this e-mail, be careful man dont like to be told what to do (even though they have always been just dont tell them that); it is also sounds like the type that is not seeking to leave his ancor anywhere so be careful with commitment demands here and most importantly NO DRAMA plse ..... Keep short, simple, direct, not demanding and no drama you will be fine... (dont ever tell a man how crazy you are for him, he will play you forever if that is the case)
I wouldn't send an email. You might be assuming more about this friendship than he is. You might only be a convenience for him. As others have said he is having his cake and eating it too.
Try to start putting some distance between the two of you. Stop making yourself available to him. Don't ring him, don't text him. If he asks you out or to meet for coffee, let him know you are busy or have a prior engagement. He will eventually get the message.
Find a man who will commit to you and only you. Find a man that you don't have to share with another woman.
I am 37, I just broke up with my boyfriend who is 49. He had another woman in his life too. He was ';having his cake and eating it too'; for many many years. I waited 8yrs for him to choose, guess what.....why should he when he has';the best of both worlds'; He never will choose, so I ended it. That is the only way to see if he will leave the other woman or stay with her. Just tell him your ending it, you would like to be with him, but unless he chooses to be with you, you HAVE to move on. And one day when he decides to come back to you, you might not be available!!!
Before I met my wife I was in a ';relationship'; with a woman. Dating, I guess you would say. I was in my early 40's then, she was 5 years younger (age doesn't really matter, but just for comparison)
She was a nice and good woman, attractive but not stunning. Nothing wrong with her, but it wasn't ';there'; for me. I can't say why, but it wasn't. She had grander ideas, I could tell, well, she said so much. I told her that I couldn't marry her or live with her, it just wasn't in the cards. I am a very attentive man when I am in love (ask my wife!) and I was not attentive with her and I knew I was not in love. She was, I think, 36 or 37 and I didn't think it was right for me to lead her on. For what? 5 years? 3 years? And then she would be 40 or 42 and still wanting to get married and it wouldn't happen.
You deserve the same. Apparently he doesn't want to admit it, but how long will this go on? How old will you be then? This woman I was dating had never had children, and wanted them. Should she wait until she is 42? 45? And then what? No it wasn't fair and it isn't fair to you.
I think you just need to be honest with this man. If you love him, say so. If you have thoughts of being married and have children, say so. If he doesn't agree, then you need to make up your mind. I wouldn't give an ultimatum. There is no need to say ';If you don't marry me by....'; No. Just say it isn't fair to you (it isn't) and you need to know his intentions so you can make decisions about your future. That is all. we ARE entitled to think about our future and plan for it. You don't need to say ';me or her'; or anything like that. Simply say you are a mature woman and want to make plans for the future and need to know where you stand with him and where he thinks things are going in the next....(months, years, whatever you decide to say)
If he cannot commit to something with you, and you want a committment, then you have to move on.
Reality is you don't have him- he has you. He's bumping 50, he's dating a 27 year old that he doesn't love and he's dating a 37 year old he doesn't love. He's have a HUGE ego boost right now to be that age and have 2 younger women after him. If he wanted to be with you he would not be going between you two no matter what his age. If you still want to give it a last ditch effort to give him the ultimatum,I'd Express that you want to be exclusively dating each other your looking for a serious relationship.and if he's not willing to do that then you are done dating him, Be blunt- men do not get beating around the bush or hinting they also do not like a lot of details they want direct communication.
Advice from men??????
Ok! I have this ex....we have been knowing each other for a year...we broke up last summer...but even after the break up we were still friends...just talked NO SEX....but anywho now he have a girlfriend...but when he told me he told me he think i would be the best girl for him...he told me that he care about me a lot...he even came to my birthday party...I just dont understand him...can somebody help me please? His actions speak louder than words....like he say this but he do that...like he takes me home and I dont even ask...he always offer! I dont get it!!
THANKS
I LIKE HIM! I CARE ABOUT HIM ALOT HE CARE ABOUT ME!! I JUST DONT GET IT! HE HAVE A GIRLFRIEND...HE IS ABOUT TO GRADUATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL...WE'RE 2 YEARS APARTAdvice from men??????
heys..I rekon...your ex still likes you..nd his gf was jst a rebound..so If i was in you..i would ask him wats going on his lil mind?..like not directly..hope You knw how to play wif words';..lols most grls knws!..lols
you can do it:)
CAN U ANSWER MY QUESTION NOW? PLZ:D give u 10 points..for your honestly:)
tak crAdvice from men??????
girl he doesnt know what he wants...Just let him know hes givin you the wrong signals anD THAT YOUR STUCK. hE STILL LIKES YOU ALOT AND I KNOW YOU LIKE HIM ALOT JUST TALK TO EM AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS.
He's just unsure what he wants...Maybe you. Who knows....
Ask him, what's going on here!.
THANKS
I LIKE HIM! I CARE ABOUT HIM ALOT HE CARE ABOUT ME!! I JUST DONT GET IT! HE HAVE A GIRLFRIEND...HE IS ABOUT TO GRADUATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL...WE'RE 2 YEARS APARTAdvice from men??????
heys..I rekon...your ex still likes you..nd his gf was jst a rebound..so If i was in you..i would ask him wats going on his lil mind?..like not directly..hope You knw how to play wif words';..lols most grls knws!..lols
you can do it:)
CAN U ANSWER MY QUESTION NOW? PLZ:D give u 10 points..for your honestly:)
tak crAdvice from men??????
girl he doesnt know what he wants...Just let him know hes givin you the wrong signals anD THAT YOUR STUCK. hE STILL LIKES YOU ALOT AND I KNOW YOU LIKE HIM ALOT JUST TALK TO EM AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS.
He's just unsure what he wants...Maybe you. Who knows....
Ask him, what's going on here!.
Advice from men??? Help in Crisis!!?
Ok! I have this ex....we have been knowing each other for a year...we broke up last summer...but even after the break up we were still friends...just talked NO SEX....but anywho now he have a girlfriend...but when he told me he told me he think i would be the best girl for him...he told me that he care about me a lot...he even came to my birthday party...I just dont understand him...can somebody help me please? His actions speak louder than words....like he say this but he do that...like he takes me home and I dont even ask...he always offer! I dont get it!! Am I what he really wants...but he just dont wanna do what it takes to get me??? After our break up..he was in a relationship with two girls...but he still called and texted me??? I dont understand...and another thing is that he wanted to have sex with me....could he be with his new girlfriend cause shes willing to have sex??? HELP PLEASE
THANKS
I LIKE HIM! I CARE ABOUT HIM ALOT HE CARE ABOUT ME!!Advice from men??? Help in Crisis!!?
He just wants to eat his cake and have it too.Advice from men??? Help in Crisis!!?
Just because I ain't got no sausage don't mean I give bad advice. God, People are so sexiest! Why don't you go out with him then but now it's hard as he has a gf. I would wait until he or She dumps him or her. Then you can go back out with him and see if it is sex but don't get pressured into doing it if you don't want it.
You are what he wants, so are most girls. If you really want to see, have sex with him and my guess is you won't have to worry about seeing him much afterwords. He's a guy and we are not to complicated. Don't over think it, girls and sex are what we want the most.
get serious around some girl
and not serious like sexually serious
I mean get agressive and attack girls physically that have nothing to do with love
the thing is, you answered your question yourself - last lines
If this guy was as interested in you as you would like him to be then he would not be with these other girls.............and by him telling you all this behind his girlfriends back shows you that he can not be trusted and probably just wants to get things from you and then be on to someone else.............He is proving to you that he is a cheater and even if he were to break up with this girl for you , How can you ever trust that he is not talking to other girls the same way he is talking to you now.......................My opinion is that he is just a heart break just waiting ti happen and you should want better for yourself then that........................Their are better guys out their than that but you are going to have to be willing to give this guy up to go look for them.................Your ex will only hold you back........oily skin
THANKS
I LIKE HIM! I CARE ABOUT HIM ALOT HE CARE ABOUT ME!!Advice from men??? Help in Crisis!!?
He just wants to eat his cake and have it too.Advice from men??? Help in Crisis!!?
Just because I ain't got no sausage don't mean I give bad advice. God, People are so sexiest! Why don't you go out with him then but now it's hard as he has a gf. I would wait until he or She dumps him or her. Then you can go back out with him and see if it is sex but don't get pressured into doing it if you don't want it.
You are what he wants, so are most girls. If you really want to see, have sex with him and my guess is you won't have to worry about seeing him much afterwords. He's a guy and we are not to complicated. Don't over think it, girls and sex are what we want the most.
get serious around some girl
and not serious like sexually serious
I mean get agressive and attack girls physically that have nothing to do with love
the thing is, you answered your question yourself - last lines
If this guy was as interested in you as you would like him to be then he would not be with these other girls.............and by him telling you all this behind his girlfriends back shows you that he can not be trusted and probably just wants to get things from you and then be on to someone else.............He is proving to you that he is a cheater and even if he were to break up with this girl for you , How can you ever trust that he is not talking to other girls the same way he is talking to you now.......................My opinion is that he is just a heart break just waiting ti happen and you should want better for yourself then that........................Their are better guys out their than that but you are going to have to be willing to give this guy up to go look for them.................Your ex will only hold you back........
Men, I need your advice please...I like a guy in his mid 30s but I am an older woman?
Just wondering, say a guy is in his mid 30s, is single and has this idea that he would someday like his own kid and he meets an older woman. Say she is mid 40s but hot and clicks very well with you, intellectually and emotionally. Would you date her seriously or would the urge to have a child stop you from really falling for her seriously?Men, I need your advice please...I like a guy in his mid 30s but I am an older woman?
Lots of men don't want children, now or never. Don't let ';what if'; ruin a potentially good relationship!Men, I need your advice please...I like a guy in his mid 30s but I am an older woman?
At the age of 31, I became involved with a lady 13 years older than I.
She was a friend from work and we just ended up together. We were passionate to no end. We shared so many common interests... We just clicked.
We dated for about 11 years on and off. Part of the reason we didn't make it was that I did want one more child. She was fully prepared to (for lack of a better term) have her tubes untied but I couldn't ask her to do that for me, considering the complications and the risks...
Another part was that, it became increasingly clear that she and I were just in different places in our lives. She was preparing for her retirement, downsizing her social calender, becoming more of a home body... And I was still very socially and physically active. I too am preparing for my retirement, but it's a completely different mind set.
Not saying this is how you and he WILL be, but it's something to consider.
Oh, and that lady and I are still friends. She is and always will be the most sexy woman I have ever known.
At this stage of your lives, if you're both happy with each other, then you should go for it! I know a girl locally who is 29 and dating a 19 year old guy...we warned her he is a player, but she won't listen. Unlike her, you are older and wiser and know what you want.
If he wants to have a child too, go for it. You're in your mid 40's, so start by getting a full medical check up first and please also consider the next 20 years of your life with a child and how it effects things!
Best wishes to you!
It really doesn't matter what we think because each of us has different thoughts and belief on the impact of age on love.
However, in your case, the important question is which one is important to him: love or a child. If you want to know, then it's best to ask the guy.
If it is love, then age shouldn't be matter. Even the woman is mid 40, she can still have a child. If she doesn't want to have a baby conventionally, there is always surrogated mothers or adoption. But the issue here is what does the guy think of having a child like this?
If the guy wants his own kids, a woman at mid 40s may not be a good candidate for him.
So it's best that the woman should talk to the guy to see what he thinks.
Wishes you the best luck,
Sherry Love
http://sherrylove.net
Always take time to give my opinions
___________________________________
PS: like what Sherry has to say, consider subscribe to her feeds at http://feeds.feedburner.com/sherrylovene鈥?/a> to get the latest updates. Thanks in advance.
You really need to get your priorities right mate, What if? well if you are happy and in love, then so be it, if you father a child in the process, that's a bonus!
What I am trying to say is, You should not put a kid in your mind first. You might look around for a younger woman, but will she make you happy? Anyways, older women even at sixty can give birth to healthy babies.
If I really wanted kids, I would have a hard time getting very serious with someone who was in their mid-40's. I know that you can't always control love, but I have never allowed myself to fall for someone that I didn't believe would be a good match for the things I truly wanted. Not that I haven't made mistakes, but I never allowed it to happen intentionally.
If he really wants kids one day and you will not or can not have any you should not get involved. I am currently 44 with children from a previous relationship and I will not date a younger woman without kids if she would like to have them. I have been ';fixed'; and I don't want to have kids in high school up in my 60's.
First of all :
If a man dates a Women to be intellectually stimulated
having kids is the least of his problems.
Next :
If he was very serious about having kids , he would have already found a younger woman and did his thing .
Last :
Don't be concerned about it . If he is with you , then you are
his choice and it's cool !
I would have absolutely no problem with that whatsoever. In fact, every woman I've ever dated, including my wife was older than me. As it stands, she never wanted kids, but that never made a difference to me, the chemistry was always there, and the love was always strong. I say go for it.
You are both adult and life is short. Enjoy your life for now!
You are old enough to know exactly what you are getting into and should be prepared to face the consequence.
If it鈥檚 time to move on one day, so be it! You have got nothing to lose.
Nowadays no particular kind of relationship can be guaranteed to last and happily ever after!
I generally wouldn't date a woman that much older than me but there are definitely the exceptions out there. I would literally marry Denise Austin and she is 51! (But HOT!) LoL
Seriously, it all depends on the woman and how well she takes care of herself.
As long as both are over 18 it doesn't matter what you do.He has waited a long time to decide to have kids anyway! Just have fun and see what happens.They keep asking why older men are only dating younger women here is your answer! Most older women want to date younger men! Good luck
My thought is that a child is just a product of love. True love is what would come first in my book. Children must not be to CRITICAL if hes in his mid 30's and hasnt had any yet.
I had my daughter when I was one month off my 46th birthday, shock ! but its only nature so go for it.
Live life to the full, this is not a rehearsal and life is much too short.
Good luck.
I would date her seriously because it would appear that we both had the same wishes; it seems that age is the primary concern.
wow ho lucky that guy is , I wish I could be in his place, I like a older lady and I am in 30's.
He should be lucky to get you.
Let me know if no luck :)
I would say if it seemed like she was a good match i wouldnt worry to much about age
WHY NOT IF YOUR BOTH ADULTS KNOW WHAT YOU WANT GO FOR IT BE HAPPY
go for it age doesn't matter!
Lots of men don't want children, now or never. Don't let ';what if'; ruin a potentially good relationship!Men, I need your advice please...I like a guy in his mid 30s but I am an older woman?
At the age of 31, I became involved with a lady 13 years older than I.
She was a friend from work and we just ended up together. We were passionate to no end. We shared so many common interests... We just clicked.
We dated for about 11 years on and off. Part of the reason we didn't make it was that I did want one more child. She was fully prepared to (for lack of a better term) have her tubes untied but I couldn't ask her to do that for me, considering the complications and the risks...
Another part was that, it became increasingly clear that she and I were just in different places in our lives. She was preparing for her retirement, downsizing her social calender, becoming more of a home body... And I was still very socially and physically active. I too am preparing for my retirement, but it's a completely different mind set.
Not saying this is how you and he WILL be, but it's something to consider.
Oh, and that lady and I are still friends. She is and always will be the most sexy woman I have ever known.
At this stage of your lives, if you're both happy with each other, then you should go for it! I know a girl locally who is 29 and dating a 19 year old guy...we warned her he is a player, but she won't listen. Unlike her, you are older and wiser and know what you want.
If he wants to have a child too, go for it. You're in your mid 40's, so start by getting a full medical check up first and please also consider the next 20 years of your life with a child and how it effects things!
Best wishes to you!
It really doesn't matter what we think because each of us has different thoughts and belief on the impact of age on love.
However, in your case, the important question is which one is important to him: love or a child. If you want to know, then it's best to ask the guy.
If it is love, then age shouldn't be matter. Even the woman is mid 40, she can still have a child. If she doesn't want to have a baby conventionally, there is always surrogated mothers or adoption. But the issue here is what does the guy think of having a child like this?
If the guy wants his own kids, a woman at mid 40s may not be a good candidate for him.
So it's best that the woman should talk to the guy to see what he thinks.
Wishes you the best luck,
Sherry Love
http://sherrylove.net
Always take time to give my opinions
___________________________________
PS: like what Sherry has to say, consider subscribe to her feeds at http://feeds.feedburner.com/sherrylovene鈥?/a> to get the latest updates. Thanks in advance.
You really need to get your priorities right mate, What if? well if you are happy and in love, then so be it, if you father a child in the process, that's a bonus!
What I am trying to say is, You should not put a kid in your mind first. You might look around for a younger woman, but will she make you happy? Anyways, older women even at sixty can give birth to healthy babies.
If I really wanted kids, I would have a hard time getting very serious with someone who was in their mid-40's. I know that you can't always control love, but I have never allowed myself to fall for someone that I didn't believe would be a good match for the things I truly wanted. Not that I haven't made mistakes, but I never allowed it to happen intentionally.
If he really wants kids one day and you will not or can not have any you should not get involved. I am currently 44 with children from a previous relationship and I will not date a younger woman without kids if she would like to have them. I have been ';fixed'; and I don't want to have kids in high school up in my 60's.
First of all :
If a man dates a Women to be intellectually stimulated
having kids is the least of his problems.
Next :
If he was very serious about having kids , he would have already found a younger woman and did his thing .
Last :
Don't be concerned about it . If he is with you , then you are
his choice and it's cool !
I would have absolutely no problem with that whatsoever. In fact, every woman I've ever dated, including my wife was older than me. As it stands, she never wanted kids, but that never made a difference to me, the chemistry was always there, and the love was always strong. I say go for it.
You are both adult and life is short. Enjoy your life for now!
You are old enough to know exactly what you are getting into and should be prepared to face the consequence.
If it鈥檚 time to move on one day, so be it! You have got nothing to lose.
Nowadays no particular kind of relationship can be guaranteed to last and happily ever after!
I generally wouldn't date a woman that much older than me but there are definitely the exceptions out there. I would literally marry Denise Austin and she is 51! (But HOT!) LoL
Seriously, it all depends on the woman and how well she takes care of herself.
As long as both are over 18 it doesn't matter what you do.He has waited a long time to decide to have kids anyway! Just have fun and see what happens.They keep asking why older men are only dating younger women here is your answer! Most older women want to date younger men! Good luck
My thought is that a child is just a product of love. True love is what would come first in my book. Children must not be to CRITICAL if hes in his mid 30's and hasnt had any yet.
I had my daughter when I was one month off my 46th birthday, shock ! but its only nature so go for it.
Live life to the full, this is not a rehearsal and life is much too short.
Good luck.
I would date her seriously because it would appear that we both had the same wishes; it seems that age is the primary concern.
wow ho lucky that guy is , I wish I could be in his place, I like a older lady and I am in 30's.
He should be lucky to get you.
Let me know if no luck :)
I would say if it seemed like she was a good match i wouldnt worry to much about age
WHY NOT IF YOUR BOTH ADULTS KNOW WHAT YOU WANT GO FOR IT BE HAPPY
go for it age doesn't matter!
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