Ladies, would you stay in this relationship ?? Men your advice will help too?

My boyfriend of 3 months has a 4 month old baby from a previous relationship. ( I know bad timing ) our relationship is great ! he is very affectionate and loving and honest with me about everything ! he is a great guy that truly loves his daughter.


However, he told me this morning that he feels guilty for not being in the same household as his baby, and he has wondered if he should try to make a family with his baby, and the mother, even though he does not love the mother.


How should I feel about this, what should I do ? This makes me sad, because I do understand and respect his position, but I love him at the same timeLadies, would you stay in this relationship ?? Men your advice will help too?
Maybe you should take a step back from this relationship....at least until he figures out what he truly wants to do; right now, he sounds really indecisive. I'm not saying end it completely, i'm just saying take a break from one another, and let him figure out what he wants to do regarding your relationship and the relationship he has with his daughter. Also, you should use the time to figure out whether or not you want to remain in the relationship with him, because his daughter will always be there, and a part of his life. I think it's great that he loves and takes care of his daughter, and wants to be there for her in what he thinks is the ';right'; way; however, at the same time, I also feel that you should distance yourself from him until he gets everything sorted out, because otherwise, something might happen to where you end up getting hurt, and you are the one left alone, while he's with his ';new'; family. Good luck!Ladies, would you stay in this relationship ?? Men your advice will help too?
i think that he should keep the baby but i dont think that he should also live with the mother. and i kno you love him but if he decides to also live with the mother i dont think you should stay with him.
Well I can see why you would be hurt, but wouldn't you rather have it be now then later on. It is gonna hurt no matter what. He sounds very confused to me, if I was you I would step back and let him be. See what happens. If he comes back to you and is with you then it was meant to be. He is trying to do the right thing, but to bad for you , cuz you gonna end up hurt. let him be there for his kid, the best thing you can do is let him know that you support his decision and will be there for him if he needs you. sorry
He should have made those decisions before he hooked up with you. His relationship with the mother of his child obviously was not over. He may not love her, but he is definitely involved with her as the father of the baby. It's hard to know that you love someone in 4 months. It takes a lot longer than that to know someone well enough to be in love. You may be in infatuation with this person or in lust with him. But, that isn't love. My advice would be to step out of the relationship (I know it's hard to do), until he has made up his mind about what he needs and wants to do.
wow that's kinda tough. I would have to know for sure that there is no possibility of him wanting to go back to his ex in order for me to invest anymore time in the relationship.
Well, I just got out of a marriage and we have 2 children. But being together for the kids just doesn't work. The parents will end up miserable and so will the children. The only way it will work is if they still love each other. And they are willing to work it out.
you should ask him if he truly wants tog et back with her..





and see where the conversation goes from there
o your in a bad position, because you look like the girlfriend that is selfish and wants to take the father from her daughter if you try to keep him! Maybe you should suggest that maybe you and him look after his daughter a couple of nights a week of something, so then he can be more of a part of his daughters relationship and you get to keep him around.
as much as it hurts you it sounds like a good idea for the child. im sure he will still be there for you!= )
get out of it now he should not live with his daughter if he does not love the mother its not fair to the child what kind of life is that living with someone you dont love also that kid will always be in his life no matter what find someone with no kids
If he wants to make a family with her then by all means let him, just don't be the other woman because he sounds like he just wants to have his cake and eat it too. He made the decision to get her pregnant and he has to live with the consequences, why should you have to pay for it by sticking around while he builds a life with another woman? Don't do it to yourself girl. Get with a man who wants to build a life with you, and you alone.
he wasn't asking you for advice or just telling you what he thinks...he was trying to tell you that is what he want's/is going to do. so, start thinking of being single again.
You should let him know how you feel about this sitch.I personaly would love the baby to live with me and my bf but in this sitch the baby is with the mother so i would try to set something up like, have the child come and stay with you for a weekend or something so ur bf doenst have to leave and doesnt feel like he isnt a good father.
You may want to consider ending the relationship and letting him know you appreciate his honesty. Let him know that you will try to understand but at the same time tell him that you care. You say you love him and he is thinking about his child. So, why not give him the space he needs to make his decisions. This can't be easy for him either as well as you but apparently this is bothering him and he wants to try to do the right thing. Love hurts sometimes but think about if you had a child and whether you would want to see if you and your child's father could make it for the benefit of the child. Good Luck.
You already know how you feel about it; you said yourself you feel sad. What to do? It's his call and he has to follow his conscience. Support him in his decision, whatever it turns out to be. While he is deciding, listen and be there for him, but don't cling and make it more difficult for him. I wouldn't give up on this relationship yet. He may not leave or he might come back after trying to make a go of it with his ex. Surely you can give him a little more time to decide without pressuring him. What do you have to lose?
If I were him, I'd try to make it work with Baby Mama, if if they don't get back together. If I were you, I'd fight for this man, since he seems like one of the good ones.





just note that fighting for him does not mean excluding his baby, or his ex for that matter. There are a lot of blended families out there with three four and even five adults involved, so don't stress too much if he's spending time with his kid.
He has given you the hint he wants out of this relationship, and he's hoping you will open the door.
First of all, he needs to understand no one can stay with each other for the child. Doesnt work that way. I am a mother of 2, 2 diffrent dads. I think that you need to sit down with him and tell him that what he is saying is hurtful. I'd personally have a hard time not pulling away from him not knoing if tomorrow he's going to be gone ya know? You deserve better then to live like that. Its a sucky way to live. At the same time, he is confused. It's not easy not being with your child. He has issues to work out and I hope you dot get hurt in the process.


Hang in there! and let him know ASAP how your feeling.
i would guess that his ';wonderings'; were actually his plans and he's just bracing you for ';hey i'm moving in with my ex';





support him emotionally, but be prepared to find someone new. With him living in the same house with someone that he's been closely romantically involved with, stuff WILL happen. It's best that you cut all ties with him romantically so that you aren't left wondering every night if he's in her bed or not.





I'm not speaking from a viewpoint of what will help the child because the child has a mother to care for her, and a father that obviously loves and wants to care for her, so she's in good shape... you however are left open for a heartbreak if you're not careful
Well he should be there for his baby as much as he possibly can be. But if he doesn't love the Mother, and could never be in love with her then he shouldn't move in with her. I have 3 children all by the same man, and I didn't love him. I finally left and my kids are much better off now that we aren't living in the same household. Some people can make it work to live in the same house with the other parent of their child, but it is very challenging. He needs to talk to the Mother and if they are able to have a loving home for the baby, that is the best thing. If not then they need to work out arrangements where both parents are getting good quality time with the baby.
Umm how old is he..
I think that you should leave the relationship before you spend anymore time in it. Do you want to play mother to someone else's child? I would run.
Just respect him and the decision he makes. He is probably right, its probably best for the child.
Well, if that was me, I probably would have taken it totally the wrong way. I would question if he really loves you. I believe that you cannot have a relationship with someone that you don't love. Even if there is a child involved. My parents were always fighting when I was growing up. They are still together. My dad has cheated on my mom more than once. Now that I'm older, I definitely would not like to repeat that experience with my children. My mom says she stayed for us.(Her children). Now I tell her I believe it would have been better if she left. All my brothers and sisters agree with me.





Anyway, in your case I would definitely question him. Does he love that other woman? If he doesn't, he can still have a great relationship with his daughter. It will be hard, but a parent will do whatever it take for their child.
If he don't love the mother of his child,why would he want to live with her?Just to be there for his child.He can be there for his child without living with somebody that he don't love.He needs to really think this one out.This don't make any sense,Why would you leave a loving relationship to go to a relationship that there is no love unless he's not being truthful with you as to how he really feels about this other women.I'm am a man that have real children and step children from divorces and I'm there for them.Can't he get his baby on weekends or other times?Why can't you be part of this family?You could if thats what he wants.Think about it,a child at a young age can sense things.Would you want you child growing up in a house where two people don't love each other or where there is love?And after the child is grown then what?Good luck,really!~