Men, your advice? Does tough love work?

My estranged husband and I have been battling issues for our entire relationship, and it is now definately to the breaking point. Most of the time I feel like an enabler to his bad habits and destructive behavior. But, because I love him, it is difficult for me to say no or be strict with him in any way. He does not have difficulty being tough with me, and it always get's a reaction from me. How can I really toughen up with him, to stop enabling him and envoke a change? I prefer not to ';play games'; but at this point everyone is telling me to stop enabling him, stop making myself available to him. The nicer and more helpful I am to him, the more distant our relationship gets. Would it really get through to him if I acted the opposite?Men, your advice? Does tough love work?
Simple. Dump him.





Sounds like the two of you are stuck in a pattern where both of your behaviors strengthen his bad habits (and the implications of the phrase, ';He does not have difficulty being tough with me'; is disturbing, to say the least). He's not going to change as long as he can manipulate you and drag you back to the behavior that supports his problems. Perhaps if he has to deal with things on his own for a while, he will realize that he actually has to change, and distance from him will prevent you from backsliding into more co-dependant behavior.





If both of you are able to make changes during the time apart, you will be able to get back together, stronger, later. If not, then best to be done with it.





(Hey, you asked for tough.)Men, your advice? Does tough love work?
Obviously whatever you're doing is not working. You have nothing to lose to experiment with change.
Divorce him then you will know. If he lets it happen you don't need him.................

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