Stay with them and love them unconditionally . Go to the library with your wife and ask the librarian about books you can both read on parenting skill and be sure to read as many as you can . That way you can pick and choose what you like and do not like. Do it together .A little worried about being a new dad...any advice?..men..woman?
Just be there for your wife, be there for your child. Be the best parent you can be. Feed, bath, change your child when your wife has had a rough day while you were at work, and do it just bcuz its your child. Be there for him/her, love them for everything and support them thru everything. Do what they love to do, even if you hate it.
And for your wife, she may get more moody than normal, so always keep that in mind, she needs your support so be patient. And love her thru all her feels and be there for her in the hospital..
You are doing exactly the right thing finding things out with plenty of time to prepare. That shows that you are a caring person who is doing the best for everyone. Always remember, every new parent feels exactly the same way, its brand new for us all! Get involved with the midwife apts and speak to them about all your thoughts. They love being able to help. Speak to your, and your wifes mum and dad. Ask their advice. And most of all, enjoy the whole experience. Your first child is going to be the most awsome experience you will ever have.
you are now her slave. do everything she asks for and wants. her concerns are now top priority. i would suggest you get two jobs and do your absolute best in each one. work until she is in her last month. then you leave the lower paying job and keep the other one. be there for her as much as possible. and the baby.
don't abandon your wife and kid
My first husband and I were both 18 when we had our first child. We did not know how to be parents or how to be ';married';. I think its awesome that you are even inquiring about what you should do! It shows you are mature enough to understand how important having a child is.
I read a lot of parenting or baby magazines. Your wife might be doing this already. For guys is harder to read these magazines since they seem more geered for women.
Many people will give you and your wife advice on how to raise your child and what to do...from how the baby should be fed (from breasfeeding to bottle) to where and when the baby should sleep. You as parents will feel what is right...its your life and your child.
I have 5 children. I have received advice from everybody- my parents, my friends, doctors, nurses, and strangers. I have made some mistakes and learned the hard way- but all of my children are healthy and are good kids.
What is important is this- if your wife chooses to breastfeed, it is important you support her in this decision. I have breastfed and bottle fed my kids- they all turned all fine regardless of my feeding choice. She needs to eat healthy because if she breastfeeds, the baby takes nutrition from her- so she needs to have enough for the baby and herself. If you guys don't agree on things- the stress will create issues between you and it will affect the baby since the baby can sense it in your voices and body languages (when you hold the baby).
When the baby sleeps- do not put the baby down on his/her stomach because its one of the main leading causes of SIDS (I am sure there is other factors-but don't mess with it). I use to have the babies sleep with me because its what worked for me. I never squished my babies and we both got good sleep. In the middle of the night- it was easier to nurse the baby. People will say ';the baby will never leave your bed if you put them to sleep with you';. Bull crap- when they turned 1 to 1-1/2 yrs old- I moved them to their own bed in my room and then eventually to their own room. By the time they were 2 they were in their own room.
Some people will tell you to put more clothes on the baby while others will tell you to put less- whatever keeps your baby happy and you happy...is the right amount of clothes.
If you take the baby to the doctor and the babies' health is on track- then whatever you are doing is good! Don't tell the doctor the baby sleeps with you, don't tell the doctor the baby is falling asleep with a bottle in her/his mouth! They will lecture you too. Again- if they give the baby a check up and everything is ok- then you are doing great!
About 2 weeks before she is due...make sure you guys have what you need for the hospital, for the drive home, and for the first week at home. Its harder to have to run out when the baby is home to get things you forgot. For the hospital-your wife will need most of the things since the hospital will provide diapers and such. She will need her toothbrush, hairbursh, confortable clothes to leave the hospital with (no jeans), and lipstick or chapstick to help her feel herself (or whatever makeup she wears). For the ride home- car seat for the baby. For the house - all the baby needs that I am sure your wife and you have read all about- but you need things for yourselves also because you will be stressed. Make sure you guys have plenty of good drinks (not alcohol-yet!) to keep hydrated. Precooked food so no one has to worry about making dinner. Try to not have too many people come to your house the first few days- or at least make it the first or second day then no one for a week. Get lots of sleep when ever you can. The laundry and the dishes will and can wait- you guys need to realize the priority has changed- you guys need to figure out what works for your family so that you are all on a routine before you can conitnue living your life as before.
It usually takes about a week to figure out the baby's schedule. I never woke the baby up after 3 hours to feed him/her...when the baby woke up- I took care of them.
Your wife's hormones are still out of wack. So be patient and understanding. It will not last forever. You guys will be faced with some chanleges in your relationships as well- your love for one another and your baby is your strong hold- don't loose track of that regardless of anything else.
Enjoy everything...even the hard parts. The throwing up, the diaper rashes (let the baby air out without diapers on a basinet so their butt can dry up and heal), the crying where you just can't figure out why they are crying, and everything else. Then there will be the smiles (or is it gas!? LOL) the holding your finger, the cooing, etc.
Oh yeah...the crying- be patient! There is nothing wrong with you or your wife putting the baby in the crib safely (nothing else in it) and just going into the bathroom or another room for 5 minutes to just take a deep breath before you pick up the baby agai
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