LONG...I know. =(
I have been talking to this guy for about a year, we met through one of my good friends. Things were good in the beginning, we went out to the movies, played golf etc. We admitted we like eachother. One night things went farther than should have and after that happened he basically said things were moving too fast. (I aslo found out that his ex cheated on him while overseas). I said fine ok whatever. I then thought well seems like he only wanted me for one thing, it hurt. We have argued by text alot and he mostly would say hurtful things to me and then end up talking again. It's weird. He has basically said that he does not want a relationship. So we continue to talk and he mentions friends w/benes and I really don't want to and know that I will only hurt myself and I feel that it disrespects who I am. But..I did it anyway..stupid I know. In hopes that things would change but of course they don't. The more he didn't show he cared the more my respect for him went out the window, but I still tried to be his friend because I guess I'm just too nice.
Well..the other night I txted him to see if he wanted to hang out. He txts back and says you come over here..I said where's here?..he says I'm at my friends house on base. I said um ok I guess..and then he said or we can come get you. I was like no I can come.
So I'm txting back and forth with who I thought was him and it was actually his friend and I didn't figure that out until I got on base and called his phone. So I was thinking okkk..maybe he is too drunk or something to give me directions so he is having his friend do it. So I get to his friends house and call his phone again and specifically say his name to make sure it was him and his friend tries to act like it's him and I say come outside so I can make sure I got the right house. He says alright.
A guy comes out with a hoodie and I thought it was him (my guy) and as soon as I get out of my car the guy walks away and goes inside and slams the door in my face, then I figured it must be his friend trying to act like him and didn't want me to see him. Weird I know.
I almost turned around and went home. Then I knock on the door and his friends wife with a baby answers and Im like ok..then go in and the guy I'm talking to is passed out on the couch sort of awake. I sit down and I'm in a room with him and his friend and his wife and baby. Then his friend tells him to wake up that he has company, not to be rude. Well he doesn't really get up, just says he's real tired.
His friend tells me that he had talked about me earlier that night and then that was it. I was like um ok? I should have asked what but didn't. The guy I'm talking to, we will just call him Mark finally gets up hardly says anything to me and goes to the kitchen. His friend and me are sitting in the living room and he starts just talking general conversation, then we all take a shot talk some more.
Still Mark really didn't say anything to me, I asked him what he wanted me to do? He said I dunno. I was like ok. I figured out when I first walked in the house that his friend was the one txting me and not him. After I bit of us just talking in the kitchen his friend says hey mark I gotta talk to you outside..come outside man.
So they go out and I'm sure it was about me. As I'm standing there I was in an akward talk with marks friends wife since I just don't even know her. Then the guys come back in and Mark goes and lays back down and I go outside and two seconds later Marks friend comes outside with a sweatshirt cause it was cold for me which I thanked him for and he starts talking to me about just general things and then randomley is like yeah I don't know what you and Mark got going on, but you know...then starts talking about something else.
I was what is going on?? Then I finally decide I need to leave. And Mark walks me out saying he felt bad because his friends txted me and he didn't want to hang because he was tired. I text him today and ask him why his friend invited me over and he said they just wanted you to come over, I got mad at them though because I didn't I was tired. Then he randomley says that he doesn't want me to get my hopes up that there could be any possibility of a relationship with him. I said I don't like you, what makes you think that.
I told him about the whole situation and how I felt his friends were nicer to me than him and that it seems the things he was talking about with his friends earlier before I came over weren't good. And it looks like the joke was on me. He said HA you figured it out. I just feel sick to my stomach. I have been nothing but caring, nice and just trying to be a friend and I've gotten nothing in return. It hurts that someone could act so low. I couldn't tell if it was just a cover when he said that or what. I told him who does that? How could you be that way to me?****MEN....any ADVICE???*****?
Its not GUYS...its this Guy
%26amp; if you're as caring as you say you are there are plenty of men that would be happy to have you around..
Stay away from mental abuse - Please****MEN....any ADVICE???*****?
Some people are just douchebags.. There isn't much you can do but ignore such individuals.
Mark is a douche. Forget him. He's playing games with your head..
Wow, that was way to much...I couldn't even finish it, what was the point or the direct question?
Guys who are immature and thoughtless don't know what they want. They use kind people. Plain and simple. Girls who are immature and thoughtless do the same thing to great guys. Personally, I hate being strung along and used after I've put so much thought and dedication into one person. The best thing to do is surround yourself with naturally positive and heplful people, much like yourself.
I can tell this really bothers you and that you put a lot of thought into many things you do. Otherwise, you would have just written a short summary of how this all happened. I am, in many ways the same, so I can absolutely see where you are coming from.
It takes time to learn to stay away from these types of people, and by no means, offer to help them. This is because we think everyone can change, everyone deserves another chance and everyone can be helped. The sad realization is that some people aren't worth that second chance, some people don't want to be hepled and many will never change. I hoped this has helped in some way. This response is rather lengthy because, I too, put much thought into what I do.
I'm not a guy, but I do understand them a little more than the average girl. No, guys are not jerks. Jerks are jerks. And that was your problem: you were too nice. You didn't put your foot down with standards, rules and limits to what you wanted. You basically gave and he just took. In the real world, nice people get taken advantage of over people who are mean every once in a while.
Next time, learn from your mistake. Don't allow yourself to become a mat and get walked all over. Stand up for what you want. If a guy really likes you and is interested, he will do whatever he can in his power to be with you, show you how much he loves you, and respect you. Please don't forget that.
Take care sweetie.
he isn't worth wasting you time on. you deserve a man that will hold you up and honor you. you are worth it. friends with benes only lead to heart break cause you will bond together emotionally and physically but rip yourself apart at the end of very night cause you know its not real. just seperate yourself from him and find some peace in you heart.
the best thing to do after that is forgive him and walk away. you don't want bitterness in your heart, cause it will harden your heart towards love in the future. you are worth having the man of your dreams.
try this; write down a list of non negotiables for your dream man, a list of would be nice ifs and a list of negotiables. then pray about them and ssee what happens. its impossible to pray and nothing happen.
walk victorious
if the guy has driven you to write this then you know what to do... forget about him, also not all guys are the same
First off
don't make the details so long
I'm trying to help but I don't wanna read the equivalent to the Lord of The Rings trilogy in the explanation.
Short sweet and to the point next time please =]
No comments:
Post a Comment