I have caught him making plans to meet another woman when he goes home this summer to visit with his family. I found emails and have kept copies. After confronting him and throwing him out, he of course, apologized. I thought we could work through it since ';the act'; wasn't committed, but after about 6 months my heart has hardened and I don't think I love him anymore, maybe starting to hate him. I have gone to counseling, he won't. I have told him several times to just leave. If he's so unhappy just leave (I can't it's my house and home). He won't. I don't want any money, or anything except what I brought to marriage. I worry over my kids missing him.Men's advice pls -Wife wants husb to divorce her and leave,she doesn't want anything from him. Why won't he go
You are going through a bad patch you find out he has been plotting behind your back with another women and he was well and truly found out.
Your emotions are every where and there is no hard and fast rule as to when one emotion pops up and then goes away for goo or to later reserface.
What has happenend now is you are still very angry with him for what he did betray you in worst possible way.
What you have not done by the sound of it is really thrash this out with him being open and honest with one another as to why he found the need to do this.
My guess and only a guess is YOU did all the talking, shouting, crying ect and he did nothing but sit there and let you rant so now he thinks that because you have said your bit and he has possible said oh sorry he thinks that is it!
NO it is not it you cant just move on and play happy family your relationship will never be the same again however if you want it to it can be a lot better and stronger.
Try and get him to talk things through with you and if he wont then tell him it is over and you want him to leave your home.
Unfortunatly I am affraid he has the attitude give you a while and you will forget and move on. You will never forget however you can forgive but it is not one sided like now it has to be the two of you working together he has not offered you one single step towards the repair so I think you have good grounds to get rid of him if you really want to.
You will get tough and you will feel you hate him that my friend is natural when the man does nothing to make you feel wanted, safe, loved or secure.
You cant make or force him to talk but he really needs to know you are serious never leave your home go and see a solicitor to find out your rights and tell him that is where you are going scare the pants off him to show him you mean it.Men's advice pls -Wife wants husb to divorce her and leave,she doesn't want anything from him. Why won't he go
If you are married....it isn't JUST YOUR HOUSE!!!
He's not ready to admit defeat or maybe he doesn't know where else to go. I would just file for divorce and after it is final, he will have no choice but to move.
He wants his cake and eat it too. You insist he moves out, give him a date you want him out by and in the meantime you file for a divorce. If he isn't out by the date you requested then put a restraining order against him and the next time he walks through the door you call the police and have him arrested.
I think you answered your own question. He has no children, no family (other than you and your children) here, it is your house... You and your children is all he has here and him leaving would mean him leaving all he has and all he knows. I think that is your answer right there...
Consult a divorce lawyer and have a court order issued to have him removed from the premise.
His ploy is BS. He compromised ';his house and home'; when he arranged to betray your trust. He can leave now.
I don't blame you for your hardened heart. By nature, men want what they don''t have. It somehow seemed comfortable to stray when he thought you were his, but now that he knows he's losing you, he won't let go. The more you push, the harder he is going to hang on. You may need to take a more radical approach...like tell him to go otherwise you will throw his stuff on the door step and change the locks and advise the police. Secondly, since you are done with him, then get a lawyer and file for divorce. Don't give him any warning. Just let him get served the papers. This should piss him off enough and I think he'll get the message.
Kids are adaptable. Just talk to them about things and answer their questions. They don't need a man around who would betray their mom. They will be fine.
you need to talk to him again and listen to everything he'll say and then tell him everything you feel. maybe he's really sorry and loves you still, he just made a mistake, why don't you give him another chance.
If he refuses to leave then the law is on your side. I hope it doesn't come to that though.
Try to appeal to the side of him which wanted to cheat on you by explaining to him that he can be with whoever he wants if he leaves. I know that it is hard and it is a little bit devious but it may just work.
If you want him gone that bad, there are ways to get him out.
You need to check with an attorney and possibly have him ';put out';. I can't see any other way, you cannot physically force him to go. I wish you luck.
he was planning to cheat on you .. give him the same courtesy he gave you %26amp; MAKE him leave .. you don't know why he wants to stay .. only he does .. could be very selfish reasons that could end up giving you a lot of heartache in the end .. when signs of disaster are upon us act on them don't ignore .. and please contact a lawyer right away!
He probably is thinking that either you don't really mean it and you will get over being mad at him; or he is hoping you change your mind and he will be able to stay. I had to get rid of an ex-boyfriend once who wouldn't leave. I gave him a certain amount of time to find a place. When he did nothing - I made phone calls until I found a couple of apartments he could afford. I made the appointments and brought him with me. On the way, he understood I meant business and that he had to go. He took one of the apartments I found for him and moved out as soon as everything was arranged. I gave him whatever he needed just to get him out. Good luck.
he doesn't leave because he is not ready to, he has no working relationship yet with someone else, and he thinks u will just let it go, and things will return to normal, yes u will beginning to dislike him, he betrayed u, or is ready to. u may have to begin divorce proceedings and start the ball rolling here, he has no reason to leave, he has no relationship yet and no woman to move on with. but the intention is there, and if he had someone else he would be gone. he also has refused to go to therapy, and make amends or show remorse. his heart is not with u, if he is making plans. get an attorney and start it, as u have nothing left with this man.
some people reside in the same dwelling throughout the divorce and even afterwards...after the divorce and u are awarded the dwelling-- it may take an eviction notice and the help of the Sheriff's department to get him out...good luck
Do not give him a choice to take it. Go and file for the divorce and let him be served the parers and give him a date of when you want him out. They need no choice. If you are not happy do not waiste your life with him. Find the one that you can trust and move on and let him live his life knowing what he done and now he has to live with it. He might think about it the next time he trys to do someone that way again!
because he's comfortable where he is - being with you %26amp; going to be with the other woman. don't give him an option. change the locks %26amp; put his stuff on the street. that is, unless you are in a community property state, then you may be screwed. good luck!
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