Mature Older People. Give Me Your Advice? (men preferably)?

I know all of u guys have been there and done that... that's why i come here 2 ask questions especially if i want some good feedback from mature folks. Here's my situation?


I am 21 and I am a virgin. I am not perfect and have faults like everyone else but i continue to see this pattern with dating. I get into a relationship w/ a man and tell him how i feel about sex outside of a marriage or a strong committment and he's fine w/ it. Then as time passes he pressures me and thing take a turn for the worse and they either break up with me or cheat on me for a girl who gives it up to everyone.





Then a few months later my exes end up contacting me telling me how they made a mistake or how they love me and how they want me back, but i cannot accept them back into my life. They attempt to do everything to get me back, but i know i will only set myself up for disaster.





My question is.. why am i dumped for the easy girl and then once they get the a** they wanna come back to me and either A. try the relationship again, B.be close friends, or C. keep in contact.





What's the deal????








Mature Older People. Give Me Your Advice? (men preferably)?
Isn't there an old saying that there are two types of girls: the ones you date, and the ones you marry?





Alas, I understand your dilemma all too well. Our society doesn't value chastity enough- its viewed as prudish rather than pure.





The guys you're coming in contact with conquer these women - they get exactly what they want - the booty call (however many times it may be)- and the objective for the relationship has been accomplished. They don't want to reach any deeper depth to that person. They want to connect with someone on a deeper level (that's why they reach out to you) but they aren't mature enough to control their sexual desires for a time (or to manage them appropriately).





People have the mistake of thinking that this is only of consequence to single people. But married couples deal with this, too. If a person can't contain their sexual desires and stay abstinent for a time before marriage, how in the world can they stay faithful sexually only to their spouse?





You are on the right track. It's hard, but hold out for someone who wants to know all of you - not just the sexual you, but the deeper parts of you. Our world is full of compromise, but by holding this type of standard in your relationships, you can be sure that you're keeping your own best interests in mind, regardless of who you are dating.





Mature Older People. Give Me Your Advice? (men preferably)?
They like your personality, and want to give you another chance to change your mind, and sleep with them (maybe they think you regretted losing them to some ho). Then, they see you are fine and won't cave, and leave you again.


You have to realize - 21 - guys want sex, not marriage....
It is rare to find a woman that is still a virgin. I am sure many don't know how to deal with it. I am sure many see you as a conquest and when it doesn't work they get insecure and defensive. You should really only date men with the same beliefs.
my dear, wait for your great love to come. he will appreciate you for who you are and will wait for you. meantime smile at the people you meet during the course of your day and share a laugh with anyone whenever the opportunity presents itself
I guess you are fishing in the wrong pool, going out with guys who don't value virginity the way you do. I think you'd do much better if you only date guys who also plan on waiting until marriage.
well, see you are a GOOD woman and every man wants that, but there is a side of us that wants our good woman to have a erotic appeal.
We, Men, are normally jerks. Plain and simple.
because you are the best thing around but they need to have sex.





it doesnt change much when married. read the questions and answers about cheating husbands and you'll see that when the wife stops giving sex they look elsewhere for it. they usually still love the wife and all that she represents its just that when it comes to sex they dont need emotional attachment, cant be without it an in most cases they wont.






Men are sex driven. One of the reasons they begin dating is because they want sex eventually from that woman. However, there are men out there that are willing to wait when they find the special person they want to be with. That man will enjoy you for who you are and will wait until you are ready even if it's on your honeymoon night. I have a friend that felt the same way you did and this happened to her alot. She was also a very beautiful girl. But she waited. She met a guy at 26 years old and believe me they dated for 2 years without sex. He finally asked to marry her. Because there dating relationship was so good she fell in love and married. They have been married for 2 years and everything is great with a baby on the way. So...for the men out there who dump you and want to come back...forget it. You need understanding and commitment from the beginning.
Obviously they're lying about being ok with the ';no sex before marriage'; thing, hoping that you'll ';come 'round in time';


when you don't, off they go (like the dogs they are) looking for a girl who'll put out.





sounds to me like you're looking in the wrong place.


Usually the only place you'll find guys of a similar view will be your local church group......usually..... and even then, not always.





good luck.
men tend to think with their junk. they want u @ home, the loving, caring,innocent, sweet gf but they also want the sex. but it's not hopeless. my hubby was a virgin when we got together. i was FAR from a virgin but if we had sex or not it wouldn't have mattered b/c i love him. of course he was very eager to jump on but that's guys for ya... srry i couldn't help that much. =(
The men you have been dating were obviously looking for easy pickings. The reason they come back to you after they had their sliders, is they want you as another course, until they have their fill. That you're 21 and still a virgin, is your biggest asset and liability. Yes Virginia, you're the kind of woman that men would take home to mom and dad. Yet Virginia, you're the 21 yrs. old healthy virgin that men rave and rant about. You sound intelligent and mature enough to admit your faults and pronounce your beliefs, and that above all should be respected. It would be a shame to have thoroughbred turn into a nag, because of a horny and persistent mule.


You're young and hopefully will find that meaningful relationship you're looking for.